General Chat

Hi Sue here, I was wondering if it's too early to book yet? It's my 40th in April and hubby wants to take me away for the weekend (no kids!!) Would you be able to send me a brochure of your fine establishment with any discounts available?? Do you also accept Mastercard/Visa?? Sue xx

Ady. Do you have any experience in this field? Of course, I shall have to consult with our Head of Security before we can definatley allow you to join us.

I would like to apply for the job of Assistant Security Guard

Last seen Boris was trying to hatch them out!!!

Has anyone seen me ping pong balls?

Our resort is set on Reunited Island, part of the Friendly Islands in the South Pacific. The main building is a tastefully restored and extended Colonial mansion. Here you will find our reception area with its beautiful green ferns and fountain of pink champagne, our 5 star restaurant refurbished in Art Deco style, our cabaret bar, reminiscent of an intimate Parisian bar and our Las Vegas-style casino. The extension at the rear of the mansion house our gym, indoor pool, sauna, Jacuzzi, beauty and hairdressing salons and a few exclusive boutiques. On the first floor of the mansion are our offices and medical facilities, including the nurse’s bijou flat, and the Resort Doctor’s luxurious Apartment. On the third floor are the flats belonging to management staff – the Entertainment Director, Housekeeper, Head of Security and Customer Service manager. On the top floor is the luxurious apartment of our Head of General Administration and a private dining room for entertaining VIP guests. On the top of the building a helipad used to ferry our VIP guests. Behind the main building is a large outdoor pool with bar and bistro café. From here is a spectacular view of the extinct volcano which dominates the island. Waterfalls tumble down into the lush green vegetation at its base and here is also a secluded lagoon. To the right of the volcano is a golf course with club house. Here is also the base for those who wish to enjoy our camping and hiking trips into the wild and untouched area of the island. To the left are the menagerie and stables with accommodation for the grooms and animal carers. Behind the menageries are tennis courts and croquet lawns. The majority of guests will be housed in linked cabins forming four blocks to the front and side of the mansion. Each block will have its own salt water pool and barbecue area. They are screened by the beautiful trees and tropical flowers which abound on the island. Each chalet sleeps four and has private facilities and a small kitchen for guests who want to cook for themselves. There are golf carts available for guests who do not wish to walk far. VIP guests will be housed in one of two private log cabins screened from prying eyes by palm trees and flowering shrubs. Each cabin has its own pool and spa bath A winding path leads down from the hotel through the gardens to the beach. The silver unspoiled sands stretch for miles to the left. To the right is the base for those who wish to enjoy our sailing and diving facilities and a jetty. The majority of guests will arrive by private launch from one of the larger islands. *********************************************** Dorothy G... Head of General Administrations. Mommylonglegs...Head of Personel/Medical Administrations. Guinevere...Head of Entertainment/Sports and Gym. David Beard... Head of Security. Jean in Washington...Head Housekeeper. Lindy in the Algarve... Head Cook. Joanne Reeder...Head of Beauty. BSC. Margaret Thomas... Head Gardener. David Bennet...Head of General Maintinance. Joanne (Bumpy )Prior.... Head Bar Manager. Our staff currently consists of the following:-Sassy...Assistant Cook. Camberwell Beauty... Fifi the French Maid. Buttercup Fields...formerly snake woman now mistress of disguise and still no proper job contortioning seeming not to be her thing and certainly not sumo wrestling. Deanna... Hairdresser. Claire in Cov....Customer Service Manager. Bev from Bridgy...Head Nurse. Helen Bell....Receptionist. Elaine in Reading...Bar person… Bec....Casino Manager. Dawnie... Nail technician and beauty therapist. Helen in Kent .... Zoo Keeper. Daisy....Bar Person. If she keeps up the good work, possibly Ass. Bar Manager. Sally Roff...??